Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
ERMA BOMBECKMy theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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He who laughs lasts.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK