Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECKMy theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECK