One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
ERMA BOMBECKMy theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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He who laughs lasts.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Children make your life important.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK