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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.

Erma Bombeck

I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK

Angry Book Children Family Funny Hands Kiss Myself Reading Theory Yourself
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
ERMA BOMBECK

Death Experience Food Funny Hope Humor Man Myself Pieces Travel
Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Encouragement Independence Lose
Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Deep Emotion Funny Hard Love Pride Quiet Reality Yourself
There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK

Gift Morning Sad Spiritual Wake Up World
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK

God Help Herself Life Maguc Pregnant Time Woman
Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Important Literature One Liner Worth
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
ERMA BOMBECK

Family Food Funny Planning Politics Religion
Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
ERMA BOMBECK

Endurance Family Friendship Funny Garden Place
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK

Buy Fate Funny Price Yourself
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
ERMA BOMBECK

Kindess Night Oneself Parents Price
Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECK

Act Children Forgiveness Love
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
ERMA BOMBECK

Home Ideas Myself See Work
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECK

Bed Boredom Family Mom Myself
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Expectation Funny Life Oneself Sarcastic
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK

Design Fashion Human Literature Myself

Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.

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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.

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