Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECKPregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
ERMA BOMBECK







