He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECKPregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
-
-
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
ERMA BOMBECK -
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECK -
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
ERMA BOMBECK