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Erma Bombeck Quote - When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.

When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.

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Appearance Home Humor Time Travel Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK

Design Fashion Human Literature Myself
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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Clean Experience Food Funny God Oneself Religious
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Children Food Funny Myself Place Stay
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Compassion Each Other Face Human Love Nation Patience Reflection
Success is outliving your failures.
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Failure Growth Inspirational Live One Liner Success
Never have more children than you have car windows.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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Children make your life important.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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