Every puppy should have a boy.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK