If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECKNever go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
ERMA BOMBECK -
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Cats invented self-esteem.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
ERMA BOMBECK -
There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Every puppy should have a boy.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
ERMA BOMBECK -
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
ERMA BOMBECK -
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK







