My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECKDon’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK