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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Erma Bombeck

Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Funny Parents Reward Survive
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK

Bed Death Funny Motivation Sleep Women
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clothes Growth Parents Yourself
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
ERMA BOMBECK

Home Ideas Myself See Work
Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Deep Emotion Funny Hard Love Pride Quiet Reality Yourself
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
ERMA BOMBECK

Courage Humor Inspirational Laughter Need Reward Tragedy Yourself
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECK

Believe Book Children Friendship Herself Library Myself
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Expectation Funny Life Oneself Sarcastic
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Home Myself Theory Work Yourself
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Boundary Community Fun Funny Humor Myself Smile
Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
ERMA BOMBECK

Appearance Gift Hide Price Women
There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
ERMA BOMBECK

Fun Funny Mother Water Wrong
I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECK

Exercise Insect Inspiration Woman
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Food Funny Myself Place Stay
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Eye Kind Memories Old Perspective Thinking
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK

Give Up Guilty

Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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