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Erma Bombeck Quote - My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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