For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
ERMA BOMBECKMy idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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He who laughs lasts.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK