I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECKMy idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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Children make your life important.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK