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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Erma Bombeck

It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
ERMA BOMBECK

Communication Inspirational Life Listening Suffering
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK

Angry Book Children Family Funny Hands Kiss Myself Reading Theory Yourself
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK

Buy Fate Funny Price Yourself
There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK

Gift Morning Sad Spiritual Wake Up World
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECK

Bed Boredom Family Mom Myself
Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK

Advice Children Funny Yourself
Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Funny Parents Reward Survive
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
ERMA BOMBECK

Family Judgement Mom Understand
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK

Inspirational Laughter Yourself
Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
ERMA BOMBECK

Appearance Gift Hide Price Women
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Give Up Myself See Sex Trust Woman
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK

God Help Herself Life Maguc Pregnant Time Woman
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
ERMA BOMBECK

Death Game Himself Legal Man
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
ERMA BOMBECK

Death Experience Food Funny Hope Humor Man Myself Pieces Travel
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clothes Growth Parents Yourself
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Home Myself Theory Work Yourself

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

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