For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
ERMA BOMBECKWomen are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECK