Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECKWomen are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
ERMA BOMBECK