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Erma Bombeck Quote - Cats invented self-esteem.

Cats invented self-esteem.

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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECK

Believe Book Children Friendship Herself Library Myself
Never have more children than you have car windows.
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Advice Children Funny Yourself
Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Children Encouragement Independence Lose
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Husband Marriage Myself Vacation. Children
It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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Funny Move Theory Yourself
He who laughs lasts.
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Funny Happiness Inspirational One Liner
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Inspirational Laughter Yourself
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Children Expectation Funny Life Oneself Sarcastic
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Brain Damage Funny Injury
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
ERMA BOMBECK

Fate Food Myself Night Oneself Thinking Woman
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Bed Death Funny Motivation Sleep Women
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Give Up Guilty

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