Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.
DOROTHY PARKERDon’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.
DOROTHY PARKERThe writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
DOROTHY PARKERAll I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKEROf course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
DOROTHY PARKEROh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
DOROTHY PARKERThe best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKERThe cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
DOROTHY PARKERConstant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKERIt turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKERThe only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKER[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKERVice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKERThe best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKERShould they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKERPeople ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKERMen seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER