By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this — One of you is lying.
DOROTHY PARKERI hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER -
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER