You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKERThe definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
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Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
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Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
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They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
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There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
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I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
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A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
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Writing well is the best revenge.
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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER