The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERGenius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
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Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
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You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
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I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
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It was written without fear and without research.
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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
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[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
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There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
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Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
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He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
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There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
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And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
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The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
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If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
DOROTHY PARKER