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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.

Dorothy Parker

What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
DOROTHY PARKER

Beautiful Clean Deep Order Skin Ugly
Ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
DOROTHY PARKER

Armor Protection Safety Weapon
Writing well is the best revenge.
DOROTHY PARKER

One Liner Revenge Writing
Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Challenge Honesty Survive Test Yourself
Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER

Change Funny Life Myself Oneself Sex Story
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER

Better Death Goodness Herself Judgement
It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
DOROTHY PARKER

Kill Mess Myself Tragedy
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Hell Herself Phone
The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
DOROTHY PARKER

Clean Professional Way Writing
Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
DOROTHY PARKER

Beyond Live Wild
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bad Food Growth Taste
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deep God Himself Money People Thinking
Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Brave Doctor Serious
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
DOROTHY PARKER

Depend Law Life Thinking Worst Yourself
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fingers Hands Leaving Love Wisdom

The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.

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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.

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