Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKERThe only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.
DOROTHY PARKER -
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER -
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER -
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER -
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER -
It was written without fear and without research.
DOROTHY PARKER -
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER