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Dorothy Parker Quote - The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.

The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.

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Education Learning Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Quick Vice
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER

Character Drink Identity Myself Problem Writing
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
DOROTHY PARKER

Boredom Elegant Manner Right
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Mom Pregnant Yourself
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Greatness Happiness Present Writing Young
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
DOROTHY PARKER

Myself Tone View Voice
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Clothes Fashion Party Yourself
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Beautiful Greatness Healing Myself Time
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deny Fake Lying Storm Trouble
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER

Avoid Best Drink Stay Way
But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER

Forget Give Up Inspirational Myself One Liner
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKER

Change Myself Word Writing
Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Brave Doctor Serious
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER

Atmosphere Best Children Home

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