Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKERThe only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER -
He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Where unwilling dies the rose; buds the new another year.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
DOROTHY PARKER -
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
DOROTHY PARKER







