Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKERBut I don’t give up; I forget why not.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
DOROTHY PARKER -
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER -
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKER







