The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKEROf course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
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Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
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The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
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Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
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There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
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Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
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I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
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There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
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It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
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Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.
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Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
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Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
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You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER