The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERWomen and elephants never forget.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
DOROTHY PARKER -
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER -
It was written without fear and without research.
DOROTHY PARKER -
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER