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If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.

Dorothy Parker

By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this — One of you is lying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death Lying Marriage Passion Promise Time Yourself
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Clothes Fashion Party Yourself
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Hell Herself Phone
Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bad Death Feeling Myself Time
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER

Age Choice Clothes Grave Life Style Time Yourself
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Surprise Woman
Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
DOROTHY PARKER

Letter Look Word
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER

Avoid Best Drink Stay Way
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER

Drink Food Funny Myself
I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Money Myself Wealth
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER

Action Hate Hell Identity Love Myself Yourself
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appreciate Audience Goodness Intelligence Myself Praise Talk
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing

If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.

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If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.

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Popular Authors

More Dorothy Parker Quotes