Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
DICK GREGORYNo kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That’s already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
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When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
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Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
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I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
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Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can’t afford it.
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We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
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I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp – just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
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Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
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Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
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To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
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Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
DICK GREGORY -
I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
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And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
DICK GREGORY