I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORYNo kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That’s already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can’t afford it.
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We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
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Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
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I believe young voters will either vote for Obama or not vote at all. So the problem is not Obama the problem is the system. If you think about how mess up this country is, most folk really don’t have choices.
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The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
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Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
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Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
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And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
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If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance because you don’t have the spirit to judge someone from within, you’re in trouble.
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You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
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Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
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It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY