I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
DAVE CHAPPELLEThere’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic.
DAVE CHAPPELLEComedy is a very approval-oriented field.
DAVE CHAPPELLEYou know, be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.
DAVE CHAPPELLEWeed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
DAVE CHAPPELLEPeople don’t know what it’s like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI’m happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn’t make things easier, but I’m so much better at handling them.
DAVE CHAPPELLEListen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.
DAVE CHAPPELLEThe only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI got married recently. So far, so good. Less sex than I expected, but other than that, it’s a pretty good lifestyle.
DAVE CHAPPELLEThe hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing.
DAVE CHAPPELLEFor one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.
DAVE CHAPPELLE