Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
DAVE CHAPPELLEWeed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
DAVE CHAPPELLESomething about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
DAVE CHAPPELLEYou know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI’m happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn’t make things easier, but I’m so much better at handling them.
DAVE CHAPPELLEThe mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
DAVE CHAPPELLEEveryone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI started when I was 14. I figured out that’s what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, “You’re gonna be a comedian,” and all this stuff.
DAVE CHAPPELLEWhen I’m on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that’s the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
DAVE CHAPPELLEComedy is a very approval-oriented field.
DAVE CHAPPELLEMy wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
DAVE CHAPPELLEMy father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’
DAVE CHAPPELLEI’m famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can’t count on it.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
DAVE CHAPPELLEThe way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.
DAVE CHAPPELLE