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I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.

Dave Chappelle

For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Famous Gratitude Himself Love Possible
The world can’t tell you who you are. You’ve just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Better Personality World Worst Yourself
I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Association Learning People Religion Talk Yourself
Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Bad Fame Greatness Horrible
I have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Enjoyment Feeling Goodness Life Live Ourselves
Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Action Death Kill Woman
Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Genius Myself Right Voice
Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Country Fame Place
I got a lot of positive people around me.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Myself People Positive
I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Care Issues Money Myself Work
I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Black Man Myself Thinking
Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Late Listening Myself Quit Work
When I’m on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that’s the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Happiness Life Myself Reality Time
One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Change Drama Leap Money Oneself People
It seems like there’s never enough famous white people among comic in Hollywood.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Enough Famous Hollywood Myself White
I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Hate Joke Myself People Race Reason Thinking
All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

People White
The higher up I went, the less happy I was.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Happy High Myself
Stand-up is the kind of gig that’ll show you where you’re at.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Kind Stand Yourself
The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Boundary Limitation Yourself
Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Conquer Performance Street Venue
Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Bad Function Smoking Substance Yourself
You’ve got to say ‘yes’ to your destiny. Life’s happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live!
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Destiny Life Live Right
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Himself Religious Scripture Sin Smoking
I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Goodness Life Money Oneself Time
They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Commercial Difference Listening Money Myself Pay Taste
My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Comedy Imagination Myself Question Wife

I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.

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I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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