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I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don’t drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren’t speaking and I said I’ll take that drink.

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I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.
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There are three things you can do in a baseball game. You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.
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They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I’ll never make the mistake of being seventy again.
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If you’re so smart, let’s see you get out of the Army.
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I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.
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I don’t like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.
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I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I’ve been thrown out of so many.
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Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
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I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don’t drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren’t speaking and I said I’ll take that drink.
CASEY STENGEL

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There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.
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Don’t cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.
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Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.
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I was not successful as a ball player, as it was a game of skill.
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Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they’re successful.
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You gotta lose ’em some of the time. When you do, lose ’em right.
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Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?
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Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
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You have to have a catcher because if you don’t you’re likely to have a lot of passed balls.
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Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose ’em I never knew existed before.
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Never make predictions, especially about the future.
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You can’t go out to the mound hobbling and take a pitcher out with a cane.
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When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you’re older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.
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It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.
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The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
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I broke in with four hits, and the writers promptly declared they had seen the new Ty Cobb. I
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Everybody line up alphabetically according to your height.
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The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn’t argue with one. I’d put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.
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