“I’ve tried to give a dollar and 25 cents in work for every dollar paid me.”

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What’s funny about that?

I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I’ve been thrown out of so many.

It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.

I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.

Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.

I got players with bad watches – they can’t tell midnight from noon.

You can’t go out to the mound hobbling and take a pitcher out with a cane.

You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living.

The team has come along slow but fast.

You have to have a catcher because if you don’t you’re likely to have a lot of passed balls.

Without losers, where would the winners be?

There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.

If you’re playing baseball and thinking about managing, you’re crazy. You’d be better off thinking about being an owner.

Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose ’em I never knew existed before.

The Yankees don’t pay me to win every day, just two out of three.

They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I’ll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

The man who has his millions will want everything he can lay his hands on and then raise his voice against the poor devil who wants ten cents more a day.

If poverty was to be sold three cents today, i can’t buy it.

But I will be damned if I propose to be at the beck and call of every itinerant scoundrel who has two cents to invest in a postage stamp. This, sir, is my resignation.

I also had to collect thirty cents a week from each customer. I owed the paper twenty cents per customer per week, and got to keep the rest.

Only two to three per cent of an audience is interested in words and pays attention to lyrics.