“There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.”

You got to get twenty-seven outs to win.

The trick is growing up without growing old.

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.

The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn’t argue with one. I’d put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

You gotta lose ’em some of the time. When you do, lose ’em right.

Son, we’d like to keep you around this season but we’re going to try and win a pennant.

Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?

The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven’t made up their minds.

Don’t drink in the hotel bar, that’s where I do my drinking.

There are three things you can do in a baseball game. You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.

The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for… reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration.

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don’t win many ball games.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

I was a left-handed dentist who made people cry.