I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them.
QUENTIN CRISPI asked a girl who came from America to England, when I was only English, and she admitted she had been to a drama school. And I said, “What did they teach you?” And she said, “They taught me to be a candle burning in an empty room.”
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
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It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn’t give enough.
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The more people one has to love, the more one’s capacity to love stretches.
QUENTIN CRISP -
In England, nobody’s your friend.
QUENTIN CRISP -
To lose is not always failure.
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
QUENTIN CRISP -
It’s been agony but I couldn’t have done it any other way.
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While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it’s vastly overrated, it’s frequently unnecessary, and it’s messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.
QUENTIN CRISP -
Happiness is the only thing I understand.
QUENTIN CRISP -
Never get involved with someone who wants to change you
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The key is never, never work. Nothing is more aging than work. It’s not only the strain of getting up in the morning for work, but it’s the resentment that settles on your face
QUENTIN CRISP -
The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
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Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): “What’s the matter, sexy? Don’t you like dehydrated fruit?
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
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I’ve never not been famous.
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Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.
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It’s a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
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I have to realise that as I am only English and am allowed to live in America, I have to give something in return. And since I cannot build a hospital, or endow a university, I can only give my infinite availability.
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I’m happy to say she was laughing while she said it, but she meant it. I’ve never learned to be a candle burning in an empty room. So I go on the screen, and I say whatever I’m told to say.
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The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
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Fashion is a way of not having to decide who you are. Style is deciding who you are and being able to perpetuate it.
QUENTIN CRISP -
If love means anything at all it means extending your hand to the unlovable.
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Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
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I never say ‘No’ to anything.
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Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?
QUENTIN CRISP -
If you don’t stay in some days, you can’t recharge your batteries.
QUENTIN CRISP