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The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.

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I never say ‘No’ to anything.
QUENTIN CRISP

never No Nothing Say
You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.
QUENTIN CRISP

Come End Have Interview Personality Stop
Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
QUENTIN CRISP

Grave Gunny Happen Life Me Thing Way
To love another person you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.
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If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
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Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.
QUENTIN CRISP

Computer Congress Culture Epidermal Even Facility Featherless Home Nothing Our Overrarte
Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): “What’s the matter, sexy? Don’t you like dehydrated fruit?
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You can’t be a person and a lady. If you’re a person, you can open the damned door yourself.
QUENTIN CRISP

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Flowers are words even a baby can understand.
QUENTIN CRISP

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A fair share of anything is starvation diet to an egomaniac.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Egomaniac Fair Share Starvation
Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
QUENTIN CRISP

Last Miserable Refuge Sex
In England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendlyand the system is brutal!
QUENTIN CRISP

Benigm Brutal Country Friendly Hostile People System
Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
QUENTIN CRISP

Cologne Diplomatic Euphemism Truth Unpleasant Wear
If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”
QUENTIN CRISP

Around Bargain Better Find God Shop Should Think Understand
My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
QUENTIN CRISP

Father Mother Protect Threatened World
If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.
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I’ve never not been famous.
QUENTIN CRISP

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If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
QUENTIN CRISP

Be Better Consider Describe Romantic Thing Will Worse
I asked a girl who came from America to England, when I was only English, and she admitted she had been to a drama school. And I said, “What did they teach you?” And she said, “They taught me to be a candle burning in an empty room.”
QUENTIN CRISP

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I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them.
QUENTIN CRISP

Eat Glad Hate Like Peas Them
I have to realise that as I am only English and am allowed to live in America, I have to give something in return. And since I cannot build a hospital, or endow a university, I can only give my infinite availability.
QUENTIN CRISP

Allow Availability Build Country English Hospital Only Realize Return Since Something University
You fall out of your mother’s womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
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Life Love Relationship
The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it
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Curiosity Encourage Individuality Neighbour Should Tribute
The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.
QUENTIN CRISP

Any Attempt Buy Cease Complain Crown Distaste Kie Lamentation Life Loudness Martyr Measure Occupation Part Persistent Price Pursuit Reduced Woman
The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.
QUENTIN CRISP

Children Returnable Trouble
There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can’t think what to do with the long winter evenings.
QUENTIN CRISP

Become Evening First Long Money Need Reason Say Second Something Third Write Writer
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
QUENTIN CRISP

Country Down Gdrag Keep Level never People Person

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