People say to me, “When did you come out?” But I was never in! When I was about six, I was swanning around the house in clothes that belonged to my mother and my grandmother which I’d found in an attic, saying, “I am a beautiful princess!”
QUENTIN CRISPI never spend my time doing anything I’ll have to do again tomorrow.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
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Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
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Love is the extra effort we make in our dealings with those whom we do not like and once you understand that, you understand all. This idea that love overtakes you is nonsense. This is but a polite manifestation of sex. To love another you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.
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If I have any talent at all, it is not for doing but for being.
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?’
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In England, nobody’s your friend.
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Happiness is the only thing I understand.
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I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say ‘Can I make up?’ and he would say ‘Oh yes – tinted?’, or he would say, ‘Oh yes – clotted?’
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It’s no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, ‘Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.’ By then, pigs will be your style.
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The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.
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Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
QUENTIN CRISP -
Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
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My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
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The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.
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The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
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The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
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The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
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The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.
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I simply haven’t the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
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You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.
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It’s been agony but I couldn’t have done it any other way.
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I never spend my time doing anything I’ll have to do again tomorrow.
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Flowers are words even a baby can understand.
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I asked a girl who came from America to England, when I was only English, and she admitted she had been to a drama school. And I said, “What did they teach you?” And she said, “They taught me to be a candle burning in an empty room.”
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It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn’t give enough.
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Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
QUENTIN CRISP