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I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say ‘Can I make up?’ and he would say ‘Oh yes – tinted?’, or he would say, ‘Oh yes – clotted?’

Quentin Crisp

A fair share of anything is starvation diet to an egomaniac.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Egomaniac Fair Share Starvation
I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them.
QUENTIN CRISP

Eat Glad Hate Like Peas Them
Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
QUENTIN CRISP

Last Miserable Refuge Sex
And were then to lay his own garden path diagonally from one corner to the other, that man’s soul would be lost. Originality is only to be praised when not prefaced by the look to right and left.
QUENTIN CRISP

Diagonality Garden Left Look Lost Originality Other Right Soul Were
Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.
QUENTIN CRISP

Adopt Are Fashion When Know Who You
If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.
QUENTIN CRISP

Average Day Depravity Direct Express Family Fully Life People Person Price Single Starred Story Violence
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
QUENTIN CRISP

Appalling Existence Glow Opinion Other Ourselves People Purpose Reconcile Thing Think
The more people one has to love, the more one’s capacity to love stretches.
QUENTIN CRISP

Capacity More People Love Stretch
People say to me, “When did you come out?” But I was never in! When I was about six, I was swanning around the house in clothes that belonged to my mother and my grandmother which I’d found in an attic, saying, “I am a beautiful princess!”
QUENTIN CRISP

Around Beautiful Cloth Come Dis Grandmother House Mother Out People Princess Say Six Swan
Women have decided to be people, which is a great mistake. Women were nicer than people.
QUENTIN CRISP

Decide Great Mistake Nicer People Women
What my parents thought of this, I don’t know. But they bore it. And the real problem was not my sin, but my unemployability.
QUENTIN CRISP

Bore Know Parent Problem Real Sin Thought Unemployability
Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
QUENTIN CRISP

Grave Gunny Happen Life Me Thing Way
People are not heterosexual or homosexual, just sexual.
QUENTIN CRISP

Heterosexual Homosexual Just People Sexual
The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.
QUENTIN CRISP

Country Do Expect Happiness Impression Live Not Time
He knew them only ‘in Braille’ – the curtains were never drawn back in the rooms in Oxford where he met those boys. It was the most sordid life you can imagine. And he was bleating about love and dragging the fair name of Mr. Plato into the trial – after a life like that?
QUENTIN CRISP

Back Bleat Curtain Drag Drawn Life Love Name People Person Room
Our clothes are too much a part of us for most of us ever to be entirely indifferent to their condition: it is as though the fabric were indeed a natural extension of the body, or even of the soul.
QUENTIN CRISP

Cloth Condition Ever Fabric Indeed Indifferent Most Much Our Part Though Too
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
QUENTIN CRISP

At All Housework Need To Do
I don’t really act. I say the words the way I would say them if I meant them.
QUENTIN CRISP

Act Meant Really Say Them Word Would
There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can’t think what to do with the long winter evenings.
QUENTIN CRISP

Become Evening First Long Money Need Reason Say Second Something Third Write Writer
The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.
QUENTIN CRISP

Any Attempt Buy Cease Complain Crown Distaste Kie Lamentation Life Loudness Martyr Measure Occupation Part Persistent Price Pursuit Reduced Woman
If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
QUENTIN CRISP

Be Better Consider Describe Romantic Thing Will Worse
The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as ‘Soho’ poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
QUENTIN CRISP

Air Come Diagnosed Genius Grace Have Poverty Soho Suffer
Manners are a way of getting what you want without appearing to be an absolute swine.
QUENTIN CRISP

Absolute Appear Get Manner Swine Want Way
To love another person you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.
QUENTIN CRISP

Another Destiny Fragment Love Person Some Undertake
I never say ‘No’ to anything.
QUENTIN CRISP

never No Nothing Say
Politics are not an instrument for effecting social change; they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice.
QUENTIN CRISP

Appear Art Change Choice Effect Human Inevitable Instrument Make Matter Politics Social Wise
The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
QUENTIN CRISP

Always Conform Problem Rebel Same Time Young

I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say ‘Can I make up?’ and he would say ‘Oh yes – tinted?’, or he would say, ‘Oh yes – clotted?’

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I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say ‘Can I make up?’ and he would say ‘Oh yes – tinted?’, or he would say, ‘Oh yes – clotted?’

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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