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Don’t cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.

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You can’t go out to the mound hobbling and take a pitcher out with a cane.
CASEY STENGEL

Cane Hobbling Mound Out Picher Take
You gotta learn that if you don’t get it by midnight, chances are you ain’t gonna get it, and if you do, it ain’t worth it.
CASEY STENGEL

Chance Get Gotta Learn Midnight Worth
The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It’s that they stay out all night looking for it.
CASEY STENGEL

All Before Game Have Look Night Out Player Sex Stay Trouble
Without losers, where would the winners be?
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Be Loser Where Winner Without Would
Son, we’d like to keep you around this season but we’re going to try and win a pennant.
CASEY STENGEL

Around Go Keep Like Pennant Season Son Try Win You
Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they’re successful.
CASEY STENGEL

Airplane Alike Away Landing Olmsted Successful Weekend
When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you’re older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.
CASEY STENGEL

Begin Blame Committed Credit Crime Even Itself never Older Professional Younger
Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose ’em I never knew existed before.
CASEY STENGEL

Been Before Exist Game Hundred Know Lose never New One Way Year
I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don’t drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren’t speaking and I said I’ll take that drink.
CASEY STENGEL

Ask Came Drink Fella Hear Here People Speak Take You
The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn’t argue with one. I’d put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.
CASEY STENGEL

Argue Arm Kiss Little One Put Trouble Umpire Women
There are three things you can do in a baseball game. You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.
CASEY STENGEL

Baseball Do Game Lose Rain Three Thing Win
If you’re playing baseball and thinking about managing, you’re crazy. You’d be better off thinking about being an owner.
CASEY STENGEL

Baseball Being Better Crazy Manage Owner Play Think
Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?
CASEY STENGEL

Age Born Guy Like Manage Play Seventy Sit Suggest Sure Think Try
Two hundred million Americans, and there ain’t two good catchers among ’em.
CASEY STENGEL

Among Catch Country Good Hundred Million Them Two
You got to get twenty-seven outs to win.
CASEY STENGEL

Get Got Out Seven Twenty Win
I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.
CASEY STENGEL

According Dangerous Height Hitter Intension Such

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