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I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

Brendan Behan

I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Bad Obituary Publicity
You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Judging Said Umpires
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cripples Walking Way
Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.
BRENDAN BEHAN

May Results Tasks
One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Addiction Country Enough Irish People
Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Money World
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Humor Mother
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment… a place where you’re least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Funny Irish People Spiritual
I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinking People Ruined
I saw a notice that said “Drink Canada Dry” and I’ve just started.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Drinking Food
What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Differences History Men
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Marriage Sexy

I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

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I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

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Popular Authors

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