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I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

Brendan Behan

You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
There’s no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Like Love One Love You
An author’s first duty is to let down his country.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Down Firsts Let
A man is fortunate if he encounters living examples of vice, as well as of virtue, to inspire him.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Inspire Men Role Models
Most horror movies are certainly that.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cinema Horror Most
I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinking People Ruined
There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Bad Obituary Publicity
Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Friendship Hurt Writing
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
He was born an Englishman and remained one for years.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Born Country Irish People Years
There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Made Miserable Situation
A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles … it takes your mind off the cost of living.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cost General Living Mind War
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Summer Winter
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
BRENDAN BEHAN

Deeds Forget Poor

I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

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I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

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Popular Authors

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