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I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

Brendan Behan

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Marriage Sexy
Most horror movies are certainly that.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cinema Horror Most
I saw a notice that said “Drink Canada Dry” and I’ve just started.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Drinking Food
I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
An author’s first duty is to let down his country.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Down Firsts Let
I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Alcohol Drinking Two
I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinking People Ruined
Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Determination Men Suicide
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
BRENDAN BEHAN

Deeds Forget Poor
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
A man is fortunate if he encounters living examples of vice, as well as of virtue, to inspire him.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Inspire Men Role Models
New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment… a place where you’re least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Funny Irish People Spiritual
When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Fighting Men Two Woman
I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It’d depend whose life.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Capital Crime Imagine Punishment
Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.
BRENDAN BEHAN

May Results Tasks
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cripples Walking Way

I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

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I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

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