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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

Bob Saget

It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
BOB SAGET

Day New People Reading
I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGET

Care Except People Take
I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
BOB SAGET

Aristocracy Guy Kids
My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
BOB SAGET

Dad Escape Humor Kind Study Stuff
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET

Attack Cauterize Done People
People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
BOB SAGET

Each Other Feed People
I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
BOB SAGET

Biker Club Kids School
It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
BOB SAGET

Long Okay People
When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
BOB SAGET

Cable Storms Television Things Unless
Everyone I love I pay.
BOB SAGET

Everyone Love Pay
My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET

Clothes Dad Mom
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET

Creativity Day Kindness New
I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
BOB SAGET

Fleas Hurt Spider
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGET

Dirty Jobs Night
If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGET

Car Die Kids Saving Want
Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
BOB SAGET

Gossip People Rumor

They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

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