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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

Bob Saget

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET

Clothes Dad Mom
At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
BOB SAGET

Day End Over Time
I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
BOB SAGET

Littles People Smoking
Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
BOB SAGET

Four Letters Matter
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET

Creativity Day Kindness New
I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
BOB SAGET

Meaningful Myself Physical
Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
BOB SAGET

Fake Politics Sincerity
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGET

Dirty Jobs Night
Everyone I love I pay.
BOB SAGET

Everyone Love Pay
I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
BOB SAGET

Doorways May Stressed Unflattered
If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
BOB SAGET

Hanging Negative People Two
I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
BOB SAGET

Body Morning Red
The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
BOB SAGET

Kids Responsibility Wine
I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
BOB SAGET

Dressing Missing Salad Sauce
The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
BOB SAGET

Children Secret Way
When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
BOB SAGET

Cable Storms Television Things Unless

They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

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Popular Authors

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