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I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.

Bob Saget

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGET

Realizing Sometimes Wish
I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
BOB SAGET

House Waiting Yesterday
Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
BOB SAGET

Alcoholics Horrible Used
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
BOB SAGET

Enjoy Masturbation Public
Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
BOB SAGET

Bored People Talking
What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET

Car Girlfriend Kitchen
Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
BOB SAGET

Gossip People Rumor
Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
BOB SAGET

Day Good Reading Sunday
If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
BOB SAGET

Hanging Negative People Two
I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
BOB SAGET

Meaningful Myself Physical
In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
BOB SAGET

Creative Forward Looking People
The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
BOB SAGET

Children Secret Way
If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGET

Car Die Kids Saving Want
It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
BOB SAGET

Smart Teacher Yoga
If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGET

Change Something Things Wake
I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
BOB SAGET

Diets Eating Food

I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.

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I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.

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