If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGETMy wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
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I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
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I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
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My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
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Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
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I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
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It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
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My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET