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My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.

Bob Saget

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
BOB SAGET

Hurt Love Pain Someone
If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGET

Change Something Things Wake
If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGET

Car Die Kids Saving Want
No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers
Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
BOB SAGET

Girl Met Reasonable Told
Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
BOB SAGET

Apology Stuff Vintage
My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
BOB SAGET

Dad Escape Humor Kind Study Stuff
Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET

Except Nobody People
I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
BOB SAGET

Aristocracy Guy Kids
My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET

Anesthesia Given Havens
Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGET

Arguing People Truth
I have no agenda, nothing to control.
BOB SAGET

Agendas Control Nothing
My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET

Clothes Dad Mom
I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
BOB SAGET

Doe Doors Nuts
There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
BOB SAGET

Country People Two Wii
When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
BOB SAGET

Away Famous Going

My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.

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My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.

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Popular Authors

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