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My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.

Bob Saget

You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGET

Friend Learn Lying
A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
BOB SAGET

Comedian Jokes Three
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Much Thinking Too
My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
BOB SAGET

Choices Done Procrastination
Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
BOB SAGET

Gossip People Rumor
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
BOB SAGET

Day Good Reading Sunday
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET

Hurt Laughing People
My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET

Clothes Dad Mom
Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
BOB SAGET

Four Letters Matter
I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
BOB SAGET

Censor Sick World
Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
BOB SAGET

Body Four People
I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGET

Care Except People Take
If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
BOB SAGET

Career Eight Wise
My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET

Anesthesia Given Havens
Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET

Except Nobody People

My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.

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My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.

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Popular Authors

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