black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.

Bob Saget

I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
BOB SAGET

Dressing Missing Salad Sauce
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.
BOB SAGET

Behind Every Great Man Men Prison
Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
BOB SAGET

Girl Met Reasonable Told
There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
BOB SAGET

Country People Two Wii
25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Crowds Screaming Something Sort Years
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET

Creativity Day Kindness New
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGET

Realizing Sometimes Wish
I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
BOB SAGET

Body Morning Red
My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
BOB SAGET

Dad Escape Humor Kind Study Stuff
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
BOB SAGET

Enjoy Masturbation Public
Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
BOB SAGET

Fire Light People
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET

Attack Cauterize Done People
Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
BOB SAGET

Apology Stuff Vintage
I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGET

Care Except People Take
You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGET

Friend Learn Lying

My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Saget Quotes