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I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.

Bob Saget

My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGET

Diapers Saint Wife
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET

Fool Men Wise
Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGET

Arguing People Truth
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
BOB SAGET

Doe Doors Nuts
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
BOB SAGET

Enjoy Masturbation Public
I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
BOB SAGET

Case Feel Level Mother Something
I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
BOB SAGET

Fleas Hurt Spider
Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
BOB SAGET

Alcoholics Horrible Used
Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
BOB SAGET

Four Letters Matter
Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
BOB SAGET

Girl Met Reasonable Told
There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
BOB SAGET

Country People Two Wii
I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
BOB SAGET

Meaningful Myself Physical
Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
BOB SAGET

Apology Stuff Vintage
Everyone I love I pay.
BOB SAGET

Everyone Love Pay
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET

Attack Cauterize Done People

I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.

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I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.

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