Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
BOB SAGETI’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
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Valuable people are undervalued.
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There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
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Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
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I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
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Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
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The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
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Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
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A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
BOB SAGET