I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
BOB SAGETI think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
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It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
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Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
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No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
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Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
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If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
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There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
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At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
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I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
BOB SAGET