I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
BOB SAGETI just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
BOB SAGETMy mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGETThink well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
BOB SAGETIf you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
BOB SAGETMy dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
BOB SAGETI will always prefer a hardback book, but I’m drawn to digital because it’s so easy to acquire them when I’m having a need-to-read moment.
BOB SAGETIt was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGETIt’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
BOB SAGETA lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
BOB SAGET25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
BOB SAGETNo one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGETFriend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
BOB SAGETIt’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
BOB SAGETSome people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
BOB SAGETWhen you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
BOB SAGETI’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
BOB SAGET