What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGETI have no agenda, nothing to control.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
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If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
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I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
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It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
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When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
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My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
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I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
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Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
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25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
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I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
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Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
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My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET