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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.

Bob Saget

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More Bob Saget Quotes

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  My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.

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• 

  I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?

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• 

  It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.

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• 

  Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.

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• 

  I love my mom! You can too for $12!

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• 

  If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?

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• 

  Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?

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• 

  25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.

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• 

  All I’ve ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.

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• 

  Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?

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• 

  You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.

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• 

  It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.

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• 

  When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.

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• 

  I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.

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• 

  And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.

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• 

  I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.

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