I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
BO BURNHAMBitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
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For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
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Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
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I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
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I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
BO BURNHAM