I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAMWhen life gets you down, make a comforter!
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
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I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
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I know it’s the comedian’s instinct to say, “Do it, man, nothing’s off-limits! It’s cool, bro!” I don’t know if that’s the answer for me.
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I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
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I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
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Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
BO BURNHAM