All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAMDrugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
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I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
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I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
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I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
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We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
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I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
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For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
BO BURNHAM