black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.

Bo Burnham

I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.
BO BURNHAM

Changed Focus Happy Try Trying
I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
BO BURNHAM

College Dream Eight
People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
BO BURNHAM

Geneticist Giving People Real
I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
BO BURNHAM

Favors Littles Thinking
I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
BO BURNHAM

Character Doing Feel Main
What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
BO BURNHAM

Creative Funny Humor Life
I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Belief Funny Humor
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Funny Humor
Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
BO BURNHAM

Art Aware Comedy Self Song
I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
BO BURNHAM

Deer Necks Saws
Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
BO BURNHAM

Isquaring Numbers Thirteen
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
BO BURNHAM

Country Guy Impression People
I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Girlfriend Uncle
I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor School
I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
BO BURNHAM

Faces Something Stupid

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bo Burnham Quotes