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I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

Bo Burnham

I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
BO BURNHAM

College Dream Eight
I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
BO BURNHAM

Speak Thinking Want
I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
BO BURNHAM

Faces Something Stupid
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Fans People
People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
BO BURNHAM

Geneticist Giving People Real
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
BO BURNHAM

Average Person Tube
I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
BO BURNHAM

Country Feminist People Rights Thinking
If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Facts People
I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
BO BURNHAM

Actually Conversation Open Say
I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
BO BURNHAM

Deer Necks Saws
I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
BO BURNHAM

Add Thinking Trying
Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
BO BURNHAM

Asian Country People Persons
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor School
I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
BO BURNHAM

Favors Littles Thinking

I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

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I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

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Popular Authors

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