I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAMI actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It’s more like a character that’s sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment.
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
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If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
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Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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Love is all about… whistles.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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