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Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.

Bo Burnham

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
BO BURNHAM

Isquaring Numbers Thirteen
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAM

Donkey Funny Giants Humor
At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
BO BURNHAM

Feelings Thinking Time Years
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
BO BURNHAM

Country Funny Gay Humor Meet Time
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
BO BURNHAM

Creative Funny Humor Life
The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
BO BURNHAM

Eras Golden Thinking
It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage.
BO BURNHAM

Character Names Play
I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
BO BURNHAM

Simple Stuff Trying
For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
BO BURNHAM

Comedians Men Say Anything
Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
BO BURNHAM

Art Aware Comedy Self Song
Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
BO BURNHAM

Bitches Country Feminist Hoe Knows People
Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
BO BURNHAM

Brain Challenges Emotional
I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
BO BURNHAM

Add Thinking Trying
Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
BO BURNHAM

Cancer Funny Humor
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Funny Humor

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.

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Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bo Burnham Quotes