A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.
BILLY CRYSTALBambi, to a kid, was scary.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
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I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
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My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
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Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
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It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
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I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
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I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
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I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
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Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead.
BILLY CRYSTAL