It is better to look good than to feel good.
BILLY CRYSTALBambi, to a kid, was scary.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
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I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
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Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
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You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
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At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
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We were in front of a live audience and I would be acting with the man who was playing my lover, and we used those words, and the audience would titter and laugh, and make me uncomfortable doing the scenes. …
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
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I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach – Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did – he was a giant.
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I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
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You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
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Change is such hard work.
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I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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