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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.

Billy Crystal

Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
BILLY CRYSTAL

News Puck Puff
There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Kids Nice Thinking
[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Stars Uncle
Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Book Improvising Play School
I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Feels Right Feet Humour
Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Home Style
That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedy Jazz Soul
The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Brother Inspiration Laughing
There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Big Clothes Difference Mostly
I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedy Jazz Thinking
I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Happiest Heaven Life Thinking
I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Caught Limits Married
I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Guidance Now Then Thinking
It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
BILLY CRYSTAL

Financial Funny Money
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Remember Same Things
Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Golden Problem World

If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.

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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.

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Popular Authors

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