I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach – Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did – he was a giant.
BILLY CRYSTALI can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
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[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
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I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
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Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
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Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
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I have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious.
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You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
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We were in front of a live audience and I would be acting with the man who was playing my lover, and we used those words, and the audience would titter and laugh, and make me uncomfortable doing the scenes. …
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