Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
BILLY CRYSTALYou have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
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A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.
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I never stopped believing in us and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be. I describe in the book [that] I don’t think I ever felt young again in that way.
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The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
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It is better to look good than to feel good.
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I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
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I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
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Change is such hard work.
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I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
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I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
BILLY CRYSTAL