black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.

Billy Crystal

I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hands Sex Two
The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Brother Inspiration Laughing
At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Bases Nightly Something
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Remember Same Things
I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Feels Right Feet Humour
Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Celebrate Children Easter Guess Jesus Peep
Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Book Improvising Play School
You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Death Kids Love Own Play
As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Actors Character Directors
That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Host Mentality Situations Thinking
You give up your dream, you give up.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dream Giving Vision
Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Golden Problem World
I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Goes Laughing On
It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
BILLY CRYSTAL

Financial Funny Money
If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Father Respect
Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Acting Comedy Truthful

There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Billy Crystal Quotes