Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
BILLY CRYSTALThere’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
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Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
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Change is such hard work.
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.
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Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
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I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
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Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
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Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
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I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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Don’t give up your power.
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You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
BILLY CRYSTAL







