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A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.

Billy Crystal

I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Baseball Country
I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Feet Thinking
Don’t give up your power.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Don't Give Up Giving Up Power
Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
BILLY CRYSTAL

Feels Looks Reach
[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Stars Uncle
I never stopped believing in us and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be. I describe in the book [that] I don’t think I ever felt young again in that way.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Believe Book Father
I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hearing Noise Scared
I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach – Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did – he was a giant.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Father Introducing Kids Producer Years
When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
BILLY CRYSTAL

Crazy Daughter Girl
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Being Funny Sex Sexy Single
Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Country Funny Humorous
If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Father Respect
At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Bases Nightly Something
Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Home Style
I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Fifth Grade Growing Height
Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Acting Comedy Truthful

A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.

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A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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