Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
BILLY CRYSTALKids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
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I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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I never stopped believing in us and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be. I describe in the book [that] I don’t think I ever felt young again in that way.
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You give up your dream, you give up.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
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That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
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In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
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I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
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The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
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The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
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At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
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I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach – Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did – he was a giant.
BILLY CRYSTAL