Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
BILLY CRYSTALEven when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
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Don’t give up your power.
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Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
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What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
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It is better to look good than to feel good.
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I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
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You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
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I never stopped believing in us and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be. I describe in the book [that] I don’t think I ever felt young again in that way.
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It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
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Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
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I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
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I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach – Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did – he was a giant.
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I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
BILLY CRYSTAL